Contemplating

I could not sleep last night for the silliest reason. I suddenly had this fear that if there was a fire J wouldn't know what to do! He is at the other end of the house to us and I guess i was just panicking. Anyway, I came up with a plan, we are going to have fire escape practice for him. Ok problem solved! Well that problem was solved, then I heard creaking which I thought was the huge gum tree outside our bedroom about to fall on us! It turned out to be just slight rain on the tin roof! Ok problem solved.

Then Miss El woke up and came for a cuddle and I started thinking how unfair it all is. For this little girl to have such a horrible mistake in her genetic make up. Then I remembered reading a verse that says God created me and knit me together in my mother's womb (something like that a psalm I think). So then I was asking God why did he make her like this? He could have stopped it, or given her to someone else. But he didn't. So after my anger and my tears, was not feeling the best. Then checked a blog that I have been following for a while http://www.gavinowens.com/ They recently lost their 3 year old son to mitochondrial disease, and she wrote this:


Choosing to believe that God directs our life path takes a whole heck of a lot of pressure off of us as incredibly flawed humans.


So although El has CF, God is taking us on a journey, he sees everything. There must be some good that can come from all this. I'm not sure it makes it any easier to live through though.

So thanks to Gavin's Mum for making my head stop spinning this morning. Hopefully I will sleep better tonight!!