Sometimes I wish I didn't have to explain CF to so many people, what her enzymes are, what her physio entails, is it serious, etc etc etc.... Some one who knows what its like, what it all means without having to start at the beginning. Have one entire conversation without CF being part of it. Being able to forget for just one hour, one day. Alas it is not to be.
Sometimes I wish my kids would do things without being asked three times! I guess that is not entirely fair because sometimes they do things the first time I ask (admittedly I almost die of shock).
Sometimes I wish I could spend every day at the beach or skating but I guess then I wouldn't appreciate the times I do go quite as much.
Sometimes I wish I could understand things better, so that I could explain them to my children better. Everyday things (how does the tv work?) and complicated things ( why does El have CF? How can God be everywhere?). I do my best to find answers for them and explain things but it is hard when you don't know the answers, and I do admit to them that I don't know, don't understand, because it is ok to not know. It is also frustrating particularly when they ask questions that you don't want to answer!
Sometimes I wish I was more open with people so that I could explain the way I really, truly felt about things. But it is so much easier to talk about mundane things.
Sometimes I wish I knew what the future held so I could plan ahead for it. But then I realise that it could be quite scary and dealing with one day at a time is probably easier and I am probably not ready to know yet what will happen.
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