Friday, July 30, 2010
did you know?
Did you know that couples with a child with a chronic illness have a divorce rate of 75%? That is not good at all, the normal 50% divorce rate is high but 75% is a huge jump up. That means only 1 in 4 marriages survive. That is terrible, so my thoughts are now turning to what makes the difference, what makes it work and what causes the marriages to fall apart? I have no answers only questions. I do know this: I want to be one of the 1/4. So I suppose I have to find the answers and work at it.
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I can totally see how this happens. Couples get so wrapped up in caring for the child that they forget to make time for themselves (as a couple).
ReplyDeleteCaring for a child with chronic illness, and even terminal illnesses, take a lot of time on behalf of the parents, especially the stay at home parent who cars for the child all day long. And then has no energy, or patience, for their spouse once they arrive home from work.
I think it's important to really make sure you make time for you and your spouse. If babysitters are available, then a date night once or twice a month, if no babysitters are available, then a nice dinner after the kids are in bed. Routine bed times for the kids, so that after they are in bed, it's you and your spouse time. Sitting together on the patio in the evenings, checking in on each other throughout the day.
The other thing that I think helps get couples through is if they have a strong religious Faith. There have been so many times through Rachel's short life that were trying and hard (with her surgeries, recovery, etc) that we simply did not know how people handle it all who don't have a strong Faith. And I think the same can be said when it comes to marriage. Again, taking the time to go to church together, praying together, and seeking what God's will is for your life and family are things that help maintain a strong marriage.